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The Russians are outcasts in the big world, the split inside the country after the start of the special operation and the “ban on joy” is the most severe restriction – Minority opinion – Saint-Petersburg News

– I don’t use social media. I don’t want to be taught to live by all these people with their rules, my friend T admitted to me.

My friend N. photographs the city a lot and well: facades of houses, flowers in a flower bed, exhibitions, interior details and desserts are the touches of everyday life. The photo is posted on social networks, subscribers are waiting for them. With the beginning of the special operation, she did not stop doing this, for which she periodically receives reproaches: how can you rejoice when this happens?

Morality is taught, as a rule, by women – Russians and Ukrainians who stayed and left.

“Forbidden to Joy” is not only a case of N. specifically taken and her photography hobby. By the way, by forbidding something to the Other, the moralizer, as a rule, does not seek to take his place. Otherwise, it would be clear: for many people in a state of permanent stress, the regularity of habitual significant rituals is therapy and salvation. And it doesn’t matter what supports you: photographing palaces, demonstrating strawberry beds, or a cat’s face. Any personal after the start of hostilities is tabooed by the carriers of “moral values”.

And let’s look at the situation from the inside – pupils inside – and scroll back in time, counting from February 24th. I will try to formulate without generalizing. So, many people are faced with a split in the usual picture of the world – with its order and values ​​- and if so, it is completely unclear what ethical code to live now. What is decent, appropriate, possible. And society is arranged in such a way that it gravitates towards the “general”, in other words, towards the training manual. And if someone reacts differently than you, he breaks your pattern and generally deserves public censure of the virtual party committee.

If someone still expects “sincerity” from social networks, he is mistaken. Social networks accept their own, but rush at the others like a petrel. And here is the lilac. Kittens. Restaurants… It’s kind of indecent. So why does anyone break the rules?

Because, first of all, we are different. Secondly, we react differently and live reality. Thirdly, the right to emotions in the public field cannot be taken away, and most importantly: the public field is a constructed reality. In other words, a person can howl into a pillow with grief, spend the last money on helping refugees, but at the same time post restaurants and cats. What does it say? About what he considers acceptable to show what seems nice and sweet. To relax and switch. But – it is impossible.

The first thing you lose during the horror: voice and mind. Therefore, it was difficult to express emotions and speak at first. And scary. And the oppression of pain has not gone away, as well as new portions of information strikes. Someone chooses the genre of public repentance, someone goes into hatred, someone withdraws into himself or tries to save his psyche in order to live and help. And this requires resources.

Talking about personal grief is a separate topic, because there are cases of devaluation and distortion: how can you complain when … In any conflict, the most subtle suffer (people who are able to sympathize and capable of reflection). They, as a rule, after February 24 live with suppressed fear, shame, sometimes hatred. To deprive such a person of the right to compassion is heartless. Although many live with a sense of their cancellation as citizens, as people in general, and the words of those who left that only cattle are left in “Russia” are perceived hard and drive a powerful wedge between “those” Russians and “these”. By the way, some photographers began to take pictures in the spring for free or for a nominal fee. Why? And because it began to seem to people that they were, as it were, canceled.

And emigrants are talking about this cancellation. This is a group of people who know how to live, fight and sympathize. Someone advises “not to cooperate with Russian institutions”, someone is outraged by the participation of writers in the “book salon”, because this is a state initiative. And there are many such voices. Psychologist Lyudmila Petranovskaya wrote a post in which she urged those who left not to torment those who remained with advice. Understood a clear message, as usual, not everyone. Blogger Dmitry Chernyshev (mi3ch), who lives in Israel, answered this way: “I, a Russian, will poke Russians into their inaction every day. Violate your peace of mind and spoil your holiday. Prevent you from sniffing lilacs.

Petersburg blogger asked subscribers in May: “What is holding you?” What gives strength. She said that she banned about twenty people who promote the idea: “Russians should not be held back, they must either be stopped ….. or die, and not all these yoga flowers.” One of the followers wrote: she would be glad if someone wished her health and well-being, and not torment … I perfectly understand: people who survived the hell of war, the reflection of “well-fed Russians” seems vulgar nonsense. But what is interesting: the refugees from Mariupol are much kinder to the Russians (volunteers) than the Russians themselves are to each other. People who have lost children, home, health, are able not to hate. And I emphasize: the reactions of a person who survived hell are not equal to the reactions of “prosperous citizens”. They have different conditions.

The Russians are outcasts in the big world, there is a split inside the country after the start of the special operation. And this excruciating loneliness is even worse with external well-being and in comparison it is clear with what.

**

Meanwhile, a radio host in London, Mikhial Kozyrev, is asked in an interview: “What did we do wrong, Misha? Grebenshchikov, you, me, everyone else… Why couldn’t they keep the country out of trouble?” And in this “we” the intonation of salt is “salt of the earth”, there is so much sparkle of white robes that it is scary to read.

And the lilac has faded, cats have appeared in the tape, because you can’t stay in eternal spasm. And friends ask for “peaceful” photos. Because it is at least an illusion of life. But most posts with “joyful content” come with a note: “as before, in civilian life.” This is, as it were, an indulgence for happiness with a tongue twister and a remark that a person grieves in joy. He is sometimes ashamed and scared, embarrassed.

But not everyone. And not always.

So, for those who find it so difficult, it is high time to forgive this illusory “happiness”.

But those who live according to the laws of public morality are always and in everything right. And this someone is very far from both morality and sympathy. He’s just marching.

Maria Bashmakova

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